I can't believe it has been so long since I have posted - well maybe I can! Crazy!!
It has continued to be a whirlwind of activity around here and Blogging just hasn't been a priority these days. I know that some day it will be and that I really want this to be one of my outlets for creativity and sharing. I'll get it together somehow :).
I had a wonderful learning experience this past month (ok 3 months). I had decided to have the Sunday school kids do an Easter skit to an amazing song. It ended up being a really good experience and was a blessing - however, I realized that after doing these "special events" for 9 years, I was no longer operating in God's Grace. God gives us grace to do the things He has called us to do. One of my callings has been "hole plugging" which is why I have so many hats in the church. When God brings in the person who is supposed to do that job then I step away and no longer need to be concerned about it. However, until that happens - it is my job.
I realized that I am so used to hole-plugging in the children's ministry and that special events is a part of that, so I just jumped in and did what I have been doing for so long. I then realized in the last few weeks of preparations that I was operating in an area that I was no longer called to do. I had a vision, but there were others who could have carried it out with Grace.
I was miserable, stressed, and resentful during this whole process. I was exhausted and it showed. And for that I apologize - Grace is an amazing gift that God gives us. But just like when we take on other people's offenses, if we are trying to do something that He hasn't given us Grace to do it makes us miserable and many times doesn't work.
I love those kids and I love God - but these special events are not for me anymore. I know I had to go through it to realize that it is time for me to step back, and I am so grateful that God still used it to bless others, and I am even more grateful that it is over.
I know that sounds really negative but we have to be able to acknowledge when we realize that something isn't working anymore. I won't allow my pride to get in the way - I know longer have that gifting (at least not right now). I need to focus on the areas that God wants me to focus on, and trust that others will step up in the other areas or that it is ok to not do them.
This was all very freeing - painful, but freeing!