I was asked once "How do you stay sane behind the mask of a Preacher's Kid" here was my response;
You Don't! You can't expect your children to be who your congregation or your adversaries (people who will pounce at the slightest slip up) expect them to be. God has created us all with our own individual calling. As parents it is our responsibility to nurture and teach our children how to have a personal relationship with the Lord and how to seek out His calling on their lives. If you and your family try to stay behind the mask, at some point and to some degree rebellion and resentment will occur.
As a PK, it didn't take me long to rebel when my parents were called into the ministry. I was already a teenager with very little self-confidence. Although I had been saved for several years I did not really understand about having a personal relationship with the Lord. I was attending a public high school in a small town. I was already a bit of an outsider, so when news spread of my parent's calling, a huge spotlight instantly was put on me. The people in the church expected me to act one way and my peers expected something different.
I FELT LIKE - the congregation expected me to be this quiet, proper young lady (an adult) whom they could call upon at a moment's notice to babysit (usually for very little, if any pay) or anything else they needed. I felt used. I was the only teenager in our newly formed church and I didn't have a support system. At school the view of a "Preacher's Kid" was that they were the worst. I wanted to fit in and and I felt very alone. So, I went through my last few years of high school wearing two masks. I was confused and in many ways I felt like I didn't matter - until the school mask broke the church mask. The result was humiliation and guilt. I decided I had to leave, I left emotionally first and then physically a short time later. It wasn't until I had been gone for several years and had started my own family that I came to realize what it was to have a personal relationship with My Lord and Savior. Through a long and difficult process I finally repented of my sins (many of which were attitude related) and was forgiven and set free. I realized that God has a plan for me and that I have my own calling.
I am now back at my parent's church, which is also MY church. I am excited to see the growth and maturity of my spiritual life. At one point in my rebellion I swore that I never wanted to be in ministry. Now I am head over heals in love with being called into ministry.
Everyone goes through times of uncertainty; I personally think that PKs and any other children of ministry leaders or missionaries have a hard time because of the pressure of not embarrassing or making things more difficult for their parents, instead of focusing on the Lord. The congregation is made up of many people with many different backgrounds and opinions and it is impossible to please them all. But you can have a love for them individually and as a whole. Don't hide behind a mask but stay hidden in the Cross and He will bring you through.
Acceptance, Compassion and Forgiveness are important in a church whether it be the congregation or the Pastor's family for we all make mistakes, we are all sinners. Judging and rebellion can destroy both.