Friday, December 30, 2011

Serenity?

I am sitting here at my desk and it is almost 9pm, which is about half an hour past my bedtime these days.  But despite my tiredness, I just had to share with you my little story of this evenings events.  We will title this little drama - "The mom, the bath, and the 6yr old".  Now you might be thinking that it is about a mom trying to give a 6yr old a bath; WRONG!

It is about a weary mama who has been working extremely hard at trying to get this house organized and cleaned, who decided that she would like to take a hot bubble bath this evening and have some alone time.  I know, what was I thinking!

I have spent the last two days cleaning out my garage, I am still not done but didn't get as far as I thought I would today because I believe I have given myself a hernia.  Seriously, I have a pain right below my belly button.  So I called it quits and walked back into the house with a forced smile on my face and quickly shoved the dogs off the couch and laid down to see if said pain would subside. It really hasn't and after awhile I did confess to my husband that I think I have pulled a muscle or possibly given myself a hernia and mumbled something to the extent of "While moving the full-size refrigerator in the garage by myself".  The look on his face was a mixture of "I'm sorry your hurting" and "You were doing what by yourself?".

Anyways, after I made it through dinner, I decided to try and take a relaxing bath and have some quiet time.  I honestly don't remember the last time I took a bath, probably at least 6 years ago and that would be if you count sitting in a few inches of hot water while very pregnant trying to ease the hemorrhoids.  Sorry, but I must speak the truth, you read this at your own risk.

I started the bath, put in my new bubble bath that I got for Christmas from my 6yr old, applied a great facial and slowly climbed in. Ahhh Serenity!!! I had my eyes closed for maybe a minute when this odd feeling came over me. I slowly opened one eye and realized that I was not alone.  How can this be? I specifically announced to the entire family, dogs included that I was going to go take a quiet bath and have some alone time and try to figure out if I had in fact given myself a hernia.

I look over to the side of the tub and there sits the 6yr old, with her bangs in her eyes, wearing the nightgown that she had put on at 4 o'clock this afternoon because she decided that she wasn't going to leave the house again and therefore it was a good idea. "Hi Mama" she said with a huge smile on her face, "Are you enjoying your quiet and alone bath?"

I smiled and gently reminded her that I wasn't alone if she was in there with me.  Her reply was "But I love my mama" now some of you rookies may think that those little words would melt my heart, not!  This was a total manipulation move on her part and both of us knew it.  The little twinkle in her eye was the dead giveaway, now before you think that I am ruthless, I know that she loves her mama and she knows that I know she loves her mama and we both know that this is the statement that she makes when she doesn't want to obey!  I gave her the look and pointed towards the exit and she pushed out her lower lip and headed for the door.

About 5 minutes later, I am trying to relax in the now warm water when I hear the door open and hear something crawling along the floor.  Yes, the 6yr old trying to be sneaky.  I lift my head so that I can see her and she looks up and says "I love you mama".  I take a deep breath and again try to explain to her that I need sometime alone.  By the time I am done explaining this fact she has made her way into the tub (well, at least her feet).  I then realize that the water is now tepid at best, there are no longer any bubbles remaining and we both can see all my fat rolls under water and I am pretty much convinced that I do have a hernia. This is when Daddy walks in and looks at me with sympathetic eyes and I shake my head to scolding he would have delivered and say "Never mind, it's not going to happen"

I am not mad or even really frustrated, that goes to show how far I have come in my quest for peace, in fact, as I am sitting here typing this out I have a smile on my face.  Even if I don't get that alone time very often I do have serenity in my spirit.  Now, who do I see about hernias?

Monday, December 5, 2011

Christmas

I am very much in the Christmas cheer mode right now.  I am realizing that all these steps that I have been taking - stepping back, seeking wisdom, taking time to be with the Lord, prioritizing my life, all these things are helping me to have an attitude of peace in my life.

Last year, I seriously dreaded this month.  But I realize now that it was because I was so focused on the negative stuff in my life - what we couldn't afford, what I wasn't getting done, who was irritating me the most :) etcetera etcetera.

I am definitely in a better place emotionally this year and I can be totally honest with you when I say - not much has changed since last year other than my attitude.  We are in the same place financially, same busyness (just a little bit different in tasks), and yes, some people still do irritate me :) etcetera etcetera.

But my attitude is a positive one - instead of focusing on what we can't afford, I am seeing what we can do; instead of being overwhelmed and frustrated, I am prioritizing and deciding what really needs to get accomplished (don't count on any Christmas cards going out!); instead of being irritated with others, the Lord is really giving me the spirit of love in my heart and reminding me that we are all God's children and need to treat each other that way, even if someone isn't treating me the way I want to be treated, I need to treat them the way God wants me to treat them.

It really makes a difference when we make these changes in our attitudes and refocus on what this season is really about.  Merry Christmas